Books for better co-parenting and Better COMMUNICATION

---

Apps are an amazing tool to help with  structured communication, less conflict and more peaceful moments between co-parents. Take advantage of the technology by using unaltered communication, updates through the calendar, including doctor appointments and even make payments within apps.  Having all your communication in one spot will cause less stress and help you stay organized about your child(ren). Knowing the courts can access your unaltered communication for a court battle will help you both behave. There is even an app to help you write texts that will not trigger the other person, Peaceful CoParenting Messenger. AppClose is a free all in one app. Our Family Wizard is also all in one app  with a monthly charge but can record calls. All other parenting apps can be found below in the apps spreadsheet.  Please reach out if you have another useful app for co-parenting not included below. 

If you are communicating each day and getting into an argument once a week, you may as well still be in a relationship.  The goal of healthy co-parenting is to get communication to a point where you can productively communicate about your child(ren) but not stress one another out or disrupt the new life the other parent has created. Even those co-parents that feel their daily communication is healthy, typically that dynamic will cause unnecessary drama at some point in the co-parenting relationship, especially when a new partner is in the picture. Daily communication with an ex is not healthy. It does not give you time to heal from the broken relationship. For younger kids that cannot communicate, pick two days a week to communicate. For older kids, once a week is the goal. The only situations to break through the weekly conversations are emergencies . You and your co-parent  should talk about what you believe is an emergency so you are on the same page. For example, a child is sick, you almost missed soccer sign ups,  or a school project was left at the others home. 

Bill Eddy's B.I.F.F. method is the perfect way to communicate when communication keeps breaking down. Brief, informative, firm and friendly. The book of the same name can be found above. 

When you only communicate once or twice a week, it can be a lot of information at once. In order to prevent information from getting lost and to make it clear what information needs a response, structure the conversation similar to the photo above. The photo is from the book, The Coparents' Communication Handbook (see above).